okokokokokok.....first abt work.....quit internship @ jurong bird park (LEARNT LOADS) cuz the amt of work and the pay with the long distance travels didn't just cut it....than joined parkway medical center in the strategic planning dep. .....after tat contract i was scheduled to work for YOG stuff....but got canceled....so there....my life so far....
whom am i kidding?
i cant go on....no....NO!!!....working for others, working for a company, working while someone breathes down on me, working while i have to be in a routine.....no.....
i mean...i tried to fit in like tat...i was very self critical....i tot tat its my own ego or pride....or sometimes i tot im being lazy and slow....or tat i haven't excepted how working life is and need to get used to shit...i know i can be difficult....i know i can be hard to handle sometimes...so i tired....
but the thing is....DEPRESSION.....i became sad...horribly sad and thoroughly depressed....unmotivated....as each day went by i got more n more sad....as i sank into routine my productivity plunged....as i got up early, pangs and waves of despair hit me...as i got into the train i realized i was becoming a zombie like everyone else...as i got to work i saw the same faces and the same politics and more shit...as i went for lunch they wouldn't even quietly let the hungry man (me!....im the type to eat quietly) finish his meal without talking abt MORE work....
i don't wanna do tis....there has to be a better way.....
i don't wanna do tis....but im no lazy ass....
i don't wanna do tis....and i know i can do better....
i don't wanna do tis....and i wanna be useful to society....
i don't wanna do tis.....so WAT do i want to do? wats my passion? the intrinsic motivation....the only kind/type of motivation tat never burns out that fills me up tat gives me will tat makes me think tat fuels me tat feeels so good tat makes me happy?
i gave wat i wanna do alot of tot....in wat motivated me....in wat i wanna do to earn a living....
in Wat's gonna define my identity and make it strong ....i came up with, "3 very different but critical to me and my identity" answers.....
1. i wanna become a psychologist specializing in diagnosis/analysis- helping ppl whoever and whatever they are become better....
2. i wanna do business- be my own boss....do trading (tat way i can travel the world and meet diff. ppl of diff. background) and counseling
3.i wanna teach (tank u Dr fong for the influencessss)-empower the next Gen so tat in a way...i live my life forever....in a way my will is passed on....and in someone's heart it will burn blue and it will burn bright.......
So....its decided... *deep breath* im opening up my own company....based on passion, mastery, autonomy and other principles..... oh n everything i wrote it was damm honest so.....tanks for reading...and follow me...and my journey in life!
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