yesterday had exams...was easy la...
dont know why i was so worked up over it...
tmr another one...tis 1s harder...muhehe~!
im at a point in my life where there are 2 distinct paths to take that will determine the entire course of my life forever...see...the only thing u should be doing is the passion you're so loving; there is an equation that says:
passion + interest = money coming in automatically
this is the secret in choosing a job...your gonna be doing it to earn money for the rest of your working life, spending nearly half your time awake in it. so is only logical u do sth tat u like or your gonna sink into depression and resentment (unhappiness) sooner or latter...at least i would as i tried doing other kinds of work like service n FnB but my personality doesn't suit it...
all those who ever made it to the A-list in their respective fields loveeed wat they did and went single mindedly towards living their passion and never gave up cuz of the internal desire motivation energy to do well...
my passion is PEOPLE...but here is the dilemma...i dont know whether to reach out and make a difference thru music or by becoming a psychologist...
see ever since young, i have always LOVED the english language...i waz a bookworm...wat soceity would label as a nerd/geek...started when i went to primary school n had to buy story book to read as it was compulsory...
in primary school, while the rest of the kids were so absorbed in playing ball and running ard mindlessly i was locked away, an introvert, in the library finishing reading all the books tat were there...so while the others were trina write a composition i could write stories nearly 1000 words long...while they were struggling to start it and string words together i was trina not speak words too big for the rest to understand...i was made fun of, ridiculed and kicked off off the "normal" list...also because of my teeth the way it is (i love how it is now as is still symmetrical and cute~!) i was an outcast, neither here nor there but anywhere u perceive me to be...i would fail every subject but top english and science always having an interest in it...
happened the same in secondary school...neither here or there, an outcast...as the third person outside society not really fitting in on any of the labels, i noticed things ppl usually dont as they are so caught up with their own world...i got interested in music n listened to it (all kinds) all day n night having the old dusty black radio switched on esp. on fridays listening to the top 10 music in spore(which was always slower n less happening than other countries) soon i came across rap n hip-hop and LOVED it and it was always a top preference...
in sec 4 there was a course aft N levels i took in school to produce music...was fun... more than fun, was an eye opener...ever experienced intense stress tat u actually like?...in our course we were supposed to write, produce n record music in a real studio...the song was called "please come back gal" and i wrote it...n we recorded it...
i was always writing...never had my hand empty,always having a pen it it...was comfortable and gave me a sense of security...i wrote in books and stuff even vandalizing school property...now i have a thick file and 4 books filled with rhythms, rhymes, metaphors, similes,some wordplay, interesting phrases, incomplete songs, full songs, subject matter which i have yet to write abt, poems, prose and stuff...
i got influenced to express myself thru writing by my ex-girlfriend...i always loved music...always loved english...always loved writing...always loved people as everyting i do is abt them and relates to them in some way or other...writing is my own little way of coping managing and facilitating my own emotions and thoughts...if i dont write...i will go crazy...seriously~!
but there is always another side to the coin...after secondary school i took up psychology...why?...natural progression i guess...i grew up seeing things i could'nt explain... my environment was like tat...a family tat never really was a family, the shit tat happened to my bro my sis and my own life...so i wanted to know more...some reasons or answers to be at peace with my mind tat still cant stop asking qns...some kinda understanding and knowledge abt things tat happened why they happened n the way i behaved and reacted n all...now im much much happier and have found some answers...the question is...wat now?
which path do i choose? music or psychology...both boils back down to ppl...but wat would i do? i wanna do a degree, definitely in psychology...but i also wanna continue wat i have always been doing...reading writing listening doing crazy stuff and seeking attention...if i go down tat way i would become an artist, composer performer...if i go down my current way i would become a psychologist councilor researcher...
so wat should i do?...im still not really 100% sure...
i will do a degree in psychology and graduate with honors...i also wanna improve my skills in writing songs, rapping with a better candice and swagger, free-styling. resonating expressing emotions in a way ppl can relate and understand and making better music tat will reach NO.1 in the charts...maybe a gig or 2 would be fun!
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