sometimes...mom really knows best...

well...welcome to my zone...read my post with the song on...

today's post is abt her...

tats my MOM!!

short n cute huh?...
(tink tats y im attracted to kawaii ppl/things/girls)

she's gone to india to visit relatives (whoever they are) and will only be back on jan next year...meanwhile i got the whole place to myself...she's not your usual kinda mom...she's...well...my lovely mom...

when i was 0 to 6 years old i was the classic definition of a  mommy's boy...i was securely attached...im glad n tankful to have had the comfort n security needed to grow up in tis world even though it wasn't much....

when i was in K2 i tink i rmber i waz a timid kid...always clinging on to mom seeing big dogs, ppl fighting and gangs clashing. mental patients wondering around. snakes and ppl who did substance abuse ard, n ppl suiciding with blood and guts splattered ard...

my school was only under the block (PAP kinder-garden school)......i was afraid to go to school...erm...my mom...LOL...beat the shit outa me with a broom n forced me to go to school (mayb y i go back to things tat hurt me...negative reinforcement/punishment or sth)...i was forced to face my fears...which i eventually did anyway...but tat was the starting point...

she didnt stop there...@ tat time my dad was overseas working but still my mom was put in a position to also work as times were as such...she taught me how to clean up aft myself and my surroundings, cook, wash clothes, do the dishes, travel from place to place (like really long distances thru mrt n bus) and even the dangers such as to not walk behind the blocks as i could get hit by the things ppl throw down or get wet thru the laundry being held out to dry there or like not to talk to or have eye contact with the mental ppl n bomohs...basically to be independent...she taught me alot of things...

in school alone...i changed pre-school 3 times to n fro here n there...primary school 3 times and secondary?

SKSS FOREVER!! (but now currently in MDIS)

growing up was filled with changes and ALOT of adversity and i had to aso work since 7 years of age doing odd jobs sometimes to have pocket money b4 i moved to sengkang...but she taught me how to be strong and cope with such stuff...even though not really directly, i picked up from her n here n there as i faced the world...my childhood doesn't mean much to me to tell u the honest truth...even though there were things tat i didnt understand and some things tat she did tat i cannot mention here tat made me blame her...i longer do...i now understand tat Asians don't have the skills required to be parents as they do not receive training professionally unlike today's changing times...n besides, she was already trying her best u know?!

looking back i realise just how......how strong she really was to handle the pressures of being a single parent handling me the PSYCHO (DISC = high I) kinda kid, my sis (whom i would always bully and be jealous of cuz of sibling rivalry...i still disturb her till today XP...guess some things never change XD...) my bro who without a dad ard had no proper guidance as mom NEEDED to work to survive us and my elder sis who had already started working back than n trina keep it all together (was like my second mom...grateful to her...probably y i cant get enough of women...) even though she(my big sis) also made her fair share of mistakes...

and for all tat...i have come to respect, love, tank and be grateful to her alot...her faith in god shows the intensity of her energy n her presence is ALWAYS of a commanding nature...her love is like a piece of advice in turbulent times when i know not wat to do...her joviality is like child's play...her lazy nature soo teaches u to sometimes take a chill pill....is it no wonder im aso somewat like tat?...REALLY REALLY glad she didnt over protect and shelter me unlike other parent...

monkey see

monkey do 

but monkey saw shit which he never understood 

so monkey in psychology; a natural progresssion? so true...

ppl say i have a loads of story behind me...
if u only knew half of it... haha~!

to my MOM:

for without u...i would not be who i am today...

for without u...i am no one unique...

for without u...life would have been soo much more painful and confusing

for without u....n your exemplary faith in god  i would have given up and gotten myself in deeper n more painful shit
for without u...i would have never have been able to take care of myself pay my own bills and be responsible with goals in life to work towards to...

for without u...i wouldn't be such a deep thinker...

for without u... i wouldn't reflect on life...

for without u...i would never feel safe or any form of security

for without u...the world would have been much much more scary-er...

for without u... i would never have found peace with myself

for without u...i would never have understood myself my desires likes n dislikes n the way i am...

as far as i know...as i prepare myself to embark on the next stage of human evaluation and transform myself into a fully fledged adult with a stronger identity...i think its only rite to look back n tank the ppl who helped raise me up...cuz everything tat had happened...everything tat happens and everything tat will come to happen...happens 4 a reason...glad i have found my reasons...

oh n yes i miss her...n will always love and be there 4 her...

to the WORLD:
i will leave my mark on u...T.L.

watch me

rock and wow

n shock and awe...