repression in its purerest form......

 note to self*

mistakes......

who ever knew they would have the power to hunt you 

till your last breath 

till you feel soo much pain its even hard to breathe

till the shame overtakes your system and drowns you downwards, towards the gates of hell

till the guilt makes you feel like your actually living in hell

whenever you remember it 

whenever something triggers it

why were you soo stupid?

why did you go thru soo much bullshit?

and all for wat?

so tat you end up
cut up in fragmented parts?

never here nor there

never a sinner or a saint

but forgiving oneself, is such an impossible pain 

that there is no salvation or freedom from such a chain

death might only bring abt more wicked suffering

over wat had already happened, its no use lying or crying

no use regretting

only good thing

is you don't stop praying

asking for mercy

but you don't know whether god is being forgiving

which is really scar-ing

which is really frightening

so u dont even know what
intro, verse, bridge, chorus, or outro

the future is in 

uncertainty is in 

its a curse to be stuck in

n once you die the punishment might be starting

the only best bet you have while you are living

is to pray for
some internal peace
some forgiveness
some mercy
some way to know your release
some reason 
cuz come daylight you might crease to exist

and never ever repeat wat u had did

for if u ever ever repeat wat u had did,
it would make u feel like shit

it would kill u on the inside

there's no end to it

god! on me me!,please please! dont damm it......