well...welcome to my zone....


on the 24th i went back to sch there to make video2...waz fun

ever had everything gone wrong in just a moment...

ever had everything tat can go wrong really go wrong...

i had tat kinda FUCKING experience way too many times already...


 c yesterday in class my friend came to sit beside my other friend's place...i wanted to ask her sth...so i held the chair n intended to shake it to get her attention...but fuck me n my illness, me messed up couldnt judge my surroundings properly...she DIDNT sit yet...so as i pulled on it to SHAKE...it came with my hands ...at tat moment i didnt know my hands waz tensed up too much...so than shit she fell thru ah... :(

fuck i was soo broken down...always calling my friend tat way conditioned me...so now when there is no weight on the chair of course it willl move back rite?...damm...i feel like shit for doing tat...i mean im not the type to lay hands or be physically hurtful ESP towards women...u can go ask my ex...there was tis 1 time i scratched her by accident n than i cried for an hour straight...but i wrote a big SORRY "letter" n she (the 1 who fell) accepted it...even said it made her feel loved n cared for afterwards...

haiz...yesterday is her...wat if tmr is my wife...wat if i do sth tat would hurt them bad...than wat?... my greatest fear is myself...i dont want to be the 1 to break any1 down...ESP women...cuz i've seen them go crazy if tat does happen to them even though it make them abit mature later...i made a promise to DR fong never to play with a women's heart...n i always honor my promises...or at least try not to break them...

sometimes i miss out the most obvious things...but notice the deep shits/secrets...and when i point it out or be right on the dot ppl dont like....n i dont realise tat tat part of tat person is a secret they don't wish to disclose...

as for the obvious things i disappoint ppl by not noticing or assuming be understood...

wats wrong with me......or is it some part of u all cant accept me? which is it?......