yesterday a man approached me while i was on the way to sch writing new material (like finally)...he seemed scared n lost n hungry...all too familiar...seemed like he was from china but stayed in malaysia somehow...accent aso seemed like a malaysian...he was drenched in sweat the smell of fear and anxiety coupled with his delivery of speech which was fast and inconsistent...
he approached me asking for directions to backtrack his way back to BOONLAY...imagine...he had walked all the way from there till QWEENSTOWN...crazy!!...he just couldnt calm down...his wallet and his passports were stolen n he had already made a report to the police who told him to get in contact with his relatives here to gat back home...he had come here for dental surgery...BUT...thing is...he didnt know how to get back to his relatives place in boonlay...n i tried to calm him down but couldnt...saw the fight or flight response first hand...so wat i did was to give him all my cash i had in me (he didnt ask la but i gave him) n directed him to the mrt stn...he tanked me n i told him to just get back home safely...
now...relating to the bio socio psycho model...
n the predisposition model...
bio...he was tried n hungry...he reeked of fear...
socio...he had asked for directions only to get repelled-off by some bunch of guys swearing at him thereby becoming more anxious n regressing into safety n security needs thereby triggering his fear response even further affecting his bio n psycho
psycho...scared, lost, anxious...with no passport money ezlink card in another country with no 1 to turn to n no phone in hand...already tired hungry...the adrenaline would wear him down faster serving only to temporarily give him energy thereby affecting his bio...
can tell he wasn't prepared for uncertainty...his enviroment he came form must have been more stable or he wouldnt have freaked out like tat...he kept looking ard restlessly never making eye contact for long...his development?
finally his conditioning...unlike Singaporean guys who go thru NS facing aversive stimuli he was prety much different in a sense tat he just couldnt calm down or even function in a more normal way(trust me...im weird so i know wat normal is)...he can never be able to survive in a fight or in any high risk pressuring activity at his present state of mind...
y am i doing tis?
he reminded me (ok la, trigger me la)...of how i used to be when i was growing up in primary sch...alone...in a corner reading books in the lib. or playing n runnin ard like a manic without a brain acting on pure emotions...
also...the ppl who approach me for help mostly would be like the guy mentioned above...
lost...depressed...
no bearings...or just dont know wat to do...
i realise in some ways im still a kid...but now i know...i shall keep my hands to myself
(control myself)...not talk without thinking...and behave if i can help it...wat to do...too many girls ard me tat i start to disturb n seek attention...LOL...so diff. my behaviour from when i hang out n just chill with guys...hmm...
to see as u see...
to feel as u feel...
to think as u think...
to predict how u would act to be...
to love u in ways which u would never know...
to help u even b4 u become more worse off...
to love u in ways which u would never know...
to help u even b4 u become more worse off...
wat an amazing thing to do...
help...when u expect nth in return (cuz your perception is not focused on anything so..) u would c n get the best possible benefit catered only to u...which would make u more mature...a lesson learned thru the inevitable colliding of fate...wat a nice life im blessed with...allhamduilla...life is bitter-sweet!!
seek to understand rather than be understood
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