It is our choices that we make, that show us what we are, far more than our abilities.

at long last the fire burns hot deep n blue...i am pumped up abt my gp cuz is going really really well!! never expected myself to be this way abt it... see i had trouble doing gp as i thought abt it in a web (R-brained) instead of a step-by-step process (L-brained)... when i realized it i kinda was surprised  but im not used to thinkin tis way so it took me quite a while to process n than organize my work...good thing most of the research is done n i just have to apply wat i learn from the various modules in the course makes sense...it is my Graduation Project after all...wat beta way to graduate!! haha~!

every song a rythem every pulse a beat every speaker a volume every tune a pitch every hymm a tone every key a note every man a women every mind a body every body a soul music makes me express music makes me impress music makes me de-stress music makes me progress doing G.P. ...haha~!

paralyzed by the immensity of the intensity its hampering me its killing me is being an artist means i wont make any money? well, wat abt the passion to express myself as how allah wants it to be? than when i make it, don't doubt it, still, i cant take it tis fear and uncertainty i dont know but its just drawing me, closer to the creator, to draw on wat how i see, see? there's only 1 thing constantly on my mind i imagine and envison a simulation tat gives such an escalation of joy and emotion still tis weird notion that society has tat entertainment isnt gonna bring anything convenient is crazy how people think we will all die off sooner or later i need to build a wall and need some time to stop them haters judges and posers and sink inside the quicksand of a thousand men, inside me where im fighting to make a choice cuz tats life, either i use my voice, and maka helluva noise or i stay quiet n follow on the art of the mind but im tat kind who cant be here nor there but be eve...

where will i be in 10 years time? that qn in itself feels like 10 tonnes... uncertainty...fear...worry...doubt...anxiety...  i got plenty of these doses of them...plenty... not only in 10 mg but in 1000mgs... the biggest qn tat always grips me is...will i have enough money? will i be resourceful enough? will i be some1 great? n i hate qns tat have no answers... if i were to drop all the mgs and not take them into the bloodstream... if i were to forget reality the world n even me... than i would be able to imagine...wat i would be... with hope excitement joy ecstasy wonder and awe... i remember when i was younger i saw a tree...a saga tiger-seed tree... thick was its trunks and wide did it spread...i looked up to it...trees represent life... the tree still stands there today... i wanted to be alot of things... scientist, astronaut, teacher author, doctor, rapper, artist, game tester and so on... i imagine i could be a... married man have good beautiful house w...

why me?...why do i have to go thru soo much bullshit?...

i vaguely remember when i was a lil baby boi i used to be a hyperactive sugar enriched kid(some things never change )... except during lesson time...during lessons i followed the crowd n shut up but i became more dreamy n daydreamed my lower primary years away (not paying attention :p) i don't really remember much abt wat i dreamed abt...but sth very interesting happened...as i grew older it slowly and surely went away...i just stopped imagining @ some point...my capacity to imagine n envision n peer into the future was pretty much hampered (tanks to the education system which made me more L-brained)... looking back i realize i have forgotten wat it was like to imagine... i remember faintly, a kinda joy tat comes out of it ... i hadn't realized tat imagination was a key factor in creation... tat imagination is the ability to materialize sth which previously only virtually existed in the mind's eye to sth more tangible n real, watever it may be!!!  I had missed the point...