It is our choices that we make, that show us what we are, far more than our abilities.

time to blog blog blog annnd........BLOG!! my GP(graduation project) is going in full swing!!  but the thing is tat is really complicated and the lack of time (only 1 month) is a killer as i know now tat for the next 10 or so days im gonna have to work around the clock or else im not gonna make it in time...die die die...or maybe not really...why? simple! i like wat im doing!! muhehehehe~! this is it...seriously~!

oh n ignore my last post... This post is exclusively dedicated to SHARIFAH BEGUM!!! click here...Heres a song for you... see, we have a lot in common...food, personal beliefs, lifestyle, family setting, even similar sins;not sth to be proud of, but yeah...my love n belonging needs now more satisfied...the timing n proximity is ok too...i really really enjoy being with her, the dynamics and the chemistry between us in this relationship, even thru is not tat often i get to see her (we still got our own things to do like sch n projects)... From Rafi to Rifa, S hining through the silvery lined clouds, on me, a single golden ray   H ey , c an you eve n allow such beauty these days?  A m i somehow deeply moved by her unique ways?  R ugged and rigorous in routine my bachelor heart was  I was, yeah, till the songstress sacredly sang, even her flaws  F igure this one might fill me up and actually last  A m certain now,cuz the awesome time i alrea...

pangs of insecurity hits me along with waves of uncertainty its not easy dealing with yourself while dealing with others @ the same time these personal issues n its triggers, triggers me from the past i tot i was free from it....but still, till now it lasts woe me, for i lament my fears, worry n sorrow are my cries heard? how would i know? how are u supposed to except some1 when they havent excepted themselves? how are u supposed to except some1 who is always changing? how are u supposed to except some1 who doesn't know their own identity? how are u supposed to except some1 when i myself am not stable in my own identity? how are u supposed to except some1, so fast, let alone trust completely when all along they know your complete history? its a decision i made its a choice i took its not easy but acceptance and trust can constantly be done for the only constant in life(which is change) can be fun an open mind, some time if u are so kind and when u become stable...

THE PATH TO JANNAH (Heaven) therein lies a path....a path that can be seen a path to Jannah, u can see it appear at first glance,looks so vague and unclear filled with an uncertain fear coupled by seemingly hard work that might make someone go berserk yet a path does exists all the Prophets, martyrs, sages and gurus would agree and testify tat it is the righteous path to become free but i see that we all see it u can bet your dollar on it tat we somehow, sometimes choose to ignore it we take tat path for granted human nature it is labeled a mental shortcut an assumption and our errors in our perception to the unbelievers the path does not carve like how u dont see through a curve they dont get gods love for a seal has been placed over their hearts they cant feel it but its there topping the charts break-out and would rise beyond only the smarts therein lies a path....a path that can be seen

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE~! seriously, this is the first time i've ever studied for exams on x'mas n new year... didnt even celebrate as it didn't feel like a new year till now tat exams are over!! last year was AWESOME!! i changed like so soo much...seriously... from insecure n fragmented carrying emotional baggage to whole, complete, congruent and happy from i cant/maybe can to DONE! from hate hate hate all those who spit me down n stopping me and make me hate me to  a wall of conscious single minded focus on wat i want and the reality of the situation from low self esteem and inferiority complex, to managing myself better n tasting high self esteem(for the very first time in my entire 17 years of life)!! from nobody to somebody;an identity tat exists as clear as shadow from not gonna ever happen to the world is the limit from stupid, blur, numb skull n retarded to smart n wise and creative from lazy, depressed, couch potato to hardworking alpha dog f...

hmmm...lets see let me make something very clear... If u don't like my blog u wont like me... my blog speaks of me...n is very very honest...if u dont like it u wont like me...i dont know but i think its my own freedom of right to put up whatever i want in it as it is me. furthermore according to, Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary a blog is "a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer; also : the contents of such a site" so there... this post is just to let every1 out there know that i am who i am n i cant be anyone different so if u dont like it... guess to u be your way and to me be mine... i dont know...maybe some ppl may have a problem with me...i dont know... i just think u maybe worse than me cuz u aint allowed yourself to express yourself to see yourself express yourself unlike me...n just when im finally be able to accept myself too...born to be an artist i guess...o...

yesterday had exams...was easy la... dont know why i was so worked up over it... tmr another one...tis 1s harder...muhehe~!

tomorrow got exams...i feel like its the last day on earth for me...n when im home now no food at home!! hope i dont fail(anything below an A is fail)...... i find myself asking myself yet again... wat if i fail? wat if i fail in life? wat if i couldn't bring back home any money? will ppl still love me? society will view me useless n dope! parents disappointed? loved 1s unsatisfied? friends trina cheer me up? fear fear fear...go away.... dont know y this comes back to my mind now...i got a clue though...should work on it... get my life in order!