It is our choices that we make, that show us what we are, far more than our abilities.

Yo!!! yesterday had 3rd last exam... it was 1 of those days i guess... with ppl studding wrong shit (including me) getting earpiece entangled in bike  suddenly seeing malay lady intimate with Chinese guy..wearing headdress... Indian guy with Chinese girl making out in the car...trigger me sia...n stuff... observing ppl say shit i know im not cuz is u n not me... was a rollercoster day 4 me... but was all better when i poured my heart out into yet another song...than met H.L milk...  HAD A FREAKING GOOD TIME!! caught up with each others live and i told him lots of stuff which i felt he understood how i felt so... we had dinner and we toked some more and off we went to hang out from place to place... nearly became devil's night TWICE!!  wanted to go vivo till late late but he had work so didnt than met abid n zailan...but they were already going home... i LOVE to hang out with guys who know how to have a good time and just chill... than H.L flashe...

me n only me against the world... who would wanna be my partner in crime? who willl be real and not a passing shadow? cuz today...im starting to get used to it.... they say u have to feel it to believe it... it feels like like an empty room with only my echo, rapping freestyle n is there such a thing as a soulmate? or is it a false hope? or sth u have to work for? (like from friend to boyfriend to lover to fiance to husband to soulmate...) or is it really true? but how would u know wats meant to be? is there concrete guaranteed proof? is it even logical to think tis way? but wat if the most logical thing to do is to think with your guts? would u rather take the next step? or give em sth to hate u abt so tat they can stay in thier comfort zone? if so, than wat abt u?  wait...how come we guys would have to be the 1 to do it? wat if a guy is too broken up inside... wat if he dont have hope to try anymore...than wat? so wat are u gonna choose to do? ...

today had another exam... 2 down 2 to go! was ok...check tis out... "And Among His Signs is that He has created for you, from yourselves, mates, that you may incline  towards them and find tranquility in them and He has engendered love and compassion between you. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect" (30 : 21 The Romans, Surat Ar-Rum ) love... wat are the roles of the guy? wat are the roles of the women? love... how does 1 meet the needs of the other how does 1 gets sth in return to a point where neither can live while the other is  not there surprisingly...the answer is tat u just need to ask...simple... n the truth is always simple...so please dont miss the point ladies how would u bring yourself to give yourself up to another man to be dependent on him to porvide in his palms the power to hurt u while trusting him not to but to protect n guard u n to satisfy u n be there for u while u don't lose your sense of independence and ...

Today had exam...was ok ar...i always say tat no matter i find it difficult or easy...just in case i expect too much or too little...i rmb the feeling of looking at the results slip 4 my last exams (all A's) and going HYPER N PUMPED N RUNNIN ARD THE HSE DOING ROLLS!!!!!... waz sooo happy tat day...seriously! anyway 1 down 3 to go...thursday got another exam...c how it goes... tokin abt pumped...i miss excercise...new target...lose 15 kg b4 1 jan 2010...watch my 6...totally miss the rush n high...like the feeling u get just b4 u gonna fuck or sth...haiz.... tat waz just a metaphor btw... after exams slacked ard abit tok cock than went to eat...ended up i disclose a short version of my past to the loveable n kawaii ladies...got learn alot ready...abt womens perspectives... just hope i didn't tok too much...*prays*... cant wait to finish exams...today was a good day... a good day to rmb a good day to treasure a good day to cherish a good day... oh n to the idio...

today is a good day... today is the day i let her go today is the day i experience deep pain today is the day i wished i said those words cuz i know I'll be turn out  ok even if i  got rejected instead of fragile me trina be unbreakable today is the day i let go  today is the day i let the tears flow today is the day,might be a day too late today is the day i accept u can be taken away by  others b4 i can stand today is the day i feel numb  today is the day i finally understand the phrases i go thru & get over her today is the day i set u free today is the day i put  your happiness first again today is the day i realize i like u very very much  today is the day im glad i met u today is the day im glad i treasured & cherished all the times we spent together even though they were short today is the day i don't feel alone anymore cuz i know i have true friends today is the day today is the day im ready to die today is the day i understand why i...

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.. my exams in abt a week...im trina study the best i can...controlling my inner demons..my self defeating behaviors...my attractions my distractions...just abt everything... wat more can i possibly lose...wat more can i sacrifice...wat more???...im not a rich kid or some1 with extraordinary talent...im just silly goofy me trina survive in tis world...i know i have friends...true friends to support me the way i support them...n a family...lets just leave it at tat tokin abt family... but... if i fail...if i tried my best n just could'nt make the cut...if i poured my heart n soul and effort and energy and blood and sweat and tears...n come out without no results...would u all still be there 4 me? i know u all would...im just being insecure...hehe...but the stage is set...ima become a psychologist or die trying to....its my story to tell...so the end is up to me...its my song...i have to complete it... we onl...

the oak tree stands... with tears of joy on its fragile leafs reared by the sky here i sit under your shades... u remind me, of me i wonder why maybe its becuz i have stood, the test of time and have seen, the signs of all my crimes the heart will heal not in a single bound but might, by the bond of u and me together n free even from each other,see? a world of beauty is the remedy, of a broken heart to find peace so, don't run away please let time take its rightful course confront the source just press pause u and me might be meant to be under the shades with cool breezes which dances slowly tis place of me & u only so why don't we kiss and make up talk things out and work it out why go thru the pain of sorrow and break up your most beautiful when your asleep on the rhythmic pulse of my heartbeat tat flows thru u, like a lullaby u keep my only impulse now is to kiss u on the forehead and say "wow..." treasure u, not take u for granted and cherish u no matter the p...

kenna trigger very super badly so im not gonna blog...off to journal....

ok...lets start with sth good and happy...had an outing with raj n jannat....was like he best remedy from work ah...seriously...we went 2 breakfast 2gether....and our dear sis jannat did so many funny things tat i just couldnt stop laughing...esp AFTER i breakfast she made me laugh till i NEARLY vomit sia...tats not all...4 the first time in my life...i saw her eat waaayyy more than me...like how wei tin ate 2day...is it me having a change of eating habits and the way tat i've been feeling lately or is it them i dont know...than 2day had another outing with wei tin n gang...waz quite relaxed although the place i went to kinda triggered me...was fun....eating 2gether n taking pics...i not really photogenic sia...oh well...im still 1 hella of a guy!!!...i want to go out with H.L milk next...like every time he call me out i cant make it sia...the both outings aso cram sia...into my timetable... from my last post, wat have i already learned.... to mediate and pray... 1st is center hold...